Lost in the Lights

The MTV show Jersey Shore does not represent me as an Italian-American from New Jersey. Still, I have lived long enough on this earth, and among enough ethnic groups to know that, whether or not we'd like to admit it, stereotypes, both negative and positive, survive because they are born of some truth. Where there is smoke, there is fire, so to speak. However, like many Italian-Americans, I watched the first episode of Jersey Shore the same way I watch horror films...through my fingers...as I begged the people on screen not to do what they were about to do. "No, please," I called out to drunk and pathetic Snooki. "Don't get in the hot tub in your bra and leopard print thong!" But, sadly, even with my plea, she did. And sadly, even with my shame, there are, indeed, Italian-Americans who absolutely live by guido/guidette lifestyle rules. In this case, where there is a tan, there is a tanning bed.

Yet, rest assured, not all Italian-Americans are cut from the same leopard print cloth. The same way the African-American community can proudly claim Barack Obama as its own, it must also claim Flavor Flav. The same way the Latino-American community can proudly claim Sonia Sotomayor, it must also begrudgingly claim that rapping, Reggaeton, iO Digital Cable pitchman (Do I haf to trenslet?). So what is it then that creates such gaps in achievement and, subsequently, pride, within a specific racial or ethnic group? Is it education that separates us where race, cultural heritage, and geography do not? Is it a question of where we sit atop the socioeconomic ladder? Or, quite simply, is it travel and a steady exposure to people from other backgrounds that keeps us, regardless of our youth or age, open-minded and ethnically balanced? What makes one Italian-American woman "Dr. Melfi", for example, and the other "Carmela Soprano"?

I venture to guess that, ultimately, it is deep-seeded, hole-in-the-soul insecurity that causes certain personality types to latch on to the lowest, most obvious "standards" within their respective ethnic groups. Unfortunately, this Italian-American "Guinea" standard stands out precisely because it is represented by insecure posers who, in an effort to mask their fear of social isolation, fist-pump the hardest, yell the loudest, and dress the most ostentatiously. People who don't feel the need to belong, don't worry about earning titles like, "King of the Guidos"- which, to me, isn't a title anyone should aspire to have. In fact, it's not unlike being named the "Lord of the Flies". Lord, oh Lord, you are still only a fly. But people with low self-esteem all too often harbor an inexplicable attraction to all things outrageously over-the-top. Easily intimidated people, it seems, tend to gravitate toward personas that seem the most intimidating. This, of course, is a very broken road toward feeling both protected and welcome, but it is a road lit with flashing club lights and is, therefore, irresistible. But don't be fooled. Lights, after all, don't always illuminate. Sometimes lights afford you the option of hiding in plain sight. Ask any baseball outfielder who plays night games. You can lose things in the lights. Most notably, yourself.

Still, vainglorious behavior will always attract attention. A lot of attention. Heavily accented guidos and guidettes are entertaining and amusing, and, as a result, quite profitable. Is it any wonder that Hollywood keeps coming back to the lowest common denominator in terms of Italian-American storylines? This is what makes everybody the most money. The Mafia posturing. The hair gel. The way they tawk. The caked-on make-up. The sausage and pepahs. The nails. The Italian flags. The multitude of juiced-up Vinnies willing to wear tight, white T-shirts, drive Mustangs...and slap their Teresas around when they get too accusatory.

I do not doubt that UNICO (an Italian-American service organization) is sincerely outraged at MTV for putting Jersey Shore on the air. After all, it is difficult to claim that MTV is not, in fact, complicit in perpetuating a negative stereotype of Italian-Americans when you really start to pay attention. Stop and take a closer look when you channel surf; you will almost never find a positive image of Italian-Americans to rival the negative ones that are out there. Then again, whose fault is that? Maybe UNICO is just embarrassed, as I am, that we have these attention seeking buffoons among us who seem to have a stronghold on our collective identity.

MTV is a business, first and foremost. Like Bravo, home of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, it doesn't care. It is making money off of eight (residually) Italian-American kids from the East Coast who were willing to, first, exploit their culture in their everyday lives, and then willingly exploit themselves as they exploited their culture on television...in a contrived, fish bowl experience. The exploiters have, thus, become the exploited. Unfortunately, judging by the ubiquity and popularity of their image, they continue to succeed at marginalizing Italian-Americans as a people. If we don't change, how can we expect society, as a whole, to change its attitude toward us? We can protest all we want, but a select few among us can't hear this truth no matter how loudly it blares.

The house music is pumping and thumping much too loudly.